Things like depression, anxiety, bipolar disorder, and ADHD can hijack your ability to access goodness and make your mind a very noisy place to spend time.I get it. I'd like to help.My Head Needs a Hug brings together my lived experience, 25 years of communication expertise, and the voices of 149 survey respondents (so far!). My goal is to bridge the communication gap and offer tools for both sides of the conversation, that is, those going through it and those wanting to help. I'll be dishing up my own brand of encouragement, humor, and sass, too.Explore ways to show up with intention, listen, ask for support, check what someone means, and stay curious. No perfect words required.

Vu finds hope in sunrises and pelicans

ASK FIRST:
LISTEN BEFORE SOLVING
Leaning In (LI): “Would you like me to listen, or would it help to think through a next step?”Reaching Out (RO): “Could you listen for a few minutes before we figure out what to do?”QUIET COMPANY COUNTS
LI: “Would you like company? We don’t have to talk.”RO: “I’d like you nearby, even if I am quiet. Will you stay close?”HELP CHOOSE THE HELP.
LI: “I can bring dinner or sit with you for a little while. Would either help?” Offer what you can genuinely do, and leave room for no.RO: "I don't know how to shake this right now but I don't like how I feel. I am open to ideas.

CHECK YOUR PERCEPTIONS.
LI: When you didn't respond to my text messages, I assumed I was bothering you. Is that right?RO: When you didn't respond to my text messages, I assumed you thought I was being too much. Is that the case?Listening, empathy, curiosity, and perception checking can help us understand each other. These tools aren't magic tricks, though; they don't always work. But showing up on either side of the conversation with kindness and with good intentions-- even if you're scared or nervous-- is a very good foundation.Also, nobody has to communicate perfectly to give or receive care.These examples are not universal scripts and should be tailored to one's situation and relationship. Short Mikapedia videos and more tools are on the way.

Meet MikaHi! I’m Mika Waters — educator, author, runner, dog lover, and the human behind
My Head Needs a Hug.I’ve spent 25 years helping people communicate. Don't let the big smile fool you--I also know depression from the inside. Years ago, when I was diagnosed with leukemia, people brought me love, food, and hugs. I wrote my first book, Dancing with the Diagnosis, between chemotherapy appointments. Years later, when I was diagnosed with MDD, people often didn’t know what to say. Many said nothing at all. That difference stayed with me—and became the seed for this project.I've surveyed over 150 people who have struggled with their mental health about what helped, what hurt, and what they wished someone would say when they reached out for help. Their voices helped shape practical tools for both sides of the conversation: the supportive friend leaning in to help, and the person struggling and reaching out for help.That little potato head on my shoulder? That’s Vu. She has feelings. She has questionable posture. She could use a hug. Maybe you could, too.Oh, one last thing about me: I am so glad you're here. ❤️

More practical tips.
No ‘just think positive’ speeches.Have a question, an idea, or a story about where you shared a paper hug? Message me. You can also ask to hear when new printables and Mikapedia videos are ready.I’m a communication educator, not a mental health professional. This project offers connection and communication tools, not individual treatment or crisis support.Thanks for being here, fellow awesome person. I see you.
Mika

Vu loves an ocean sunset, too.